Desperado

I swear I feel like I've written this exact blog before. I didn't find it in the search so if I'm repeating myself please forgive me. My insomnia doesn't help my memory. I still don't feel like I should be in reruns already.
The job is stressing me the fuck out. I think I'm losing my hair. I bet someone laughed about that considering that I'm bald. But no seriously, the job is just really getting to me. I'm losing my appetite and I hate life right now. Now maybe I shouldn't feel that way because I have a job, but I do. I feel like vomiting or crying or both every day now. I gotta find something else. I'm working on this resume. I need something new asap.

So...there's this butch lesbian chick at my job that I used to be cool with. She was talking slick to me though, so you know she didn't last long. She couldn't deal with response to her dumb ass comments. I don't even remember what the bitch said, but she got her feelings hurt because she was intentionally antagonizing me. Needless to say, we're no longer cool at this point. One day while sitting in the break room I hear this clicking of heels and I just know a bad bitch is about to walk around the corner with some red bottoms on. Lo and behold it's this bitch. The girl at the table with me turns around and says, "Who is this with these desperado ass boots on?" I couldn't help but laugh about it. Now every time I see her in these boots I think "Desperado" and laugh to myself. Then I go back to my desk and dougie. Oh I don't care if you're judging me. I'm sure you've done something terrible like run over your neighbor's cat and didn't tell them or fuck your best friend's mom. Fuck you for judging me! Just kidding. Unless you really are judging me. Whores.

Edit: I'm sick of this motherfucker on Facebook sending me Cityville or Farmville requests all day. Bitch kill yoself

Insomnia part 6 million

Time: 1:06 am. This post is probably going to be very scattered and shit so forgive me or fuck yourself with a pine cone. Sorry, I never claimed that loving me is easy and having a pine cone up your pleasure canal definitely would be a challenge. I can't sleep and it's frustrating as hell. I even took a vicodin to help relax my mind. Nothing seems to work. Been praying. I don't know. Maybe weed is the next step? LOL. I don't think I could do that. I don't know where to find it nor do I know how to do all the other stuff you have to do to make it "smokeable" if that's a word. Anyway, yesterday was a pretty good work day. I retained 8 customers and my personal goal is 5 a day. That kinda makes up for only having 1 on Monday. I'm just praying that I can keep up the momentum through the rest of the week. It gets rough when we have such a high call volume. I get stressed, frustrated and start to feel like I can't do it. The boo tells me not to stress and that it's just a job. He's right but I don't know how to just relax and let things go. They linger in my mind and drive me crazy. I think it's because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I truly have a desire to be the best at my job that I can be. Crazy idea, huh? Let me revisit the weed idea after I get a new high paying job. Maybe I'll just win the lotto. If someone else out there wins, please gift me some money. I'm not even asking for a milli. I just wanna pay off my current outstanding debt and I promise I'll be happy. If you're writing letters to Oprah, drop my government to her. Thanks in advance, kind souls.


How about these fucking gas prices?? I'm really not feeling this shit at all. Can someone just go knock Muammar el-Qaddafi the hell out and stop this shit? I'm tired of getting raped at the gas pump. Between that and our job market, America is fucked right now. Oh and what's with the spelling of dude's name?? Why is it all over the net 3 million different ways? I just picked one and ran with it. If you don't like the spelling I chose, eat a brick. My parents were contemplating coming this weekend, but won't due to the gas prices. I actually kinda wanted to see them this time. I miss my mommy... :-( I kinda wanna have a talk with her about something that will probably lead to an argument. *big fucking sigh* Maybe I should just send her a copy of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga and say, "Let's discuss" after she listens. She probably wouldn't get it though and think it's weird...


How does everyone feel about this whole Nene-Kim-Sweetie controversy? I meant to blog about it a while ago when it happened but since I'm up and thinking about it now, now's the best time. Ok if you don't know what I'm talking about, Google is your friend. Hell, go to Bravo's website and I'm sure you can find it. Anyway, someone posted a picture of Sweetie on Facebook with a caption that said, "Free Sweetie" which I found to be ridiculous. My thinking is that she's not a slave, although Nene seems to think that Kim treats her like one. My feeling is that she's a grown woman and if she likes the way Kim talks to her, why the hell should we care? My friend from Facebook compared Sweetie to an indentured servant. I disagree. I also wonder if the reason there's an issue with it is because Kim's white and Sweetie's black. I didn't see anyone calling any of Diddy's various failed groups or assistants (Fonzworth Bentley and contestants) slaves after the way he's treated them on Making the Band or on I Want to Work for Diddy. After making a bitch cross that bridge for some cheesecake... The need or want for money sometimes makes us do things or put up with things that we wouldn't normally.  Again, grown people who chose their own paths is my thinking. *Kanye shrug* I want your thoughts. No, seriously, fucking reply you douches. Maybe the best way to get a response is to not call people douches, huh? My bad... Is bitch better? 


I've been listening to Marsha Ambrosious' CD and I think it's pretty awesome. I was just talking to a friend about it yesterday (sorry I forgot to call back). It's a pretty good listen from start to finish. Normally, I wouldn't be able to take Marsha's voice for too long because there's just something about her style of singing that irritates me at times. I actually can listen to the whole CD from start to finish without skipping any tracks. It's a nice baby making cd. I wanna practice to it this weekend if I can find a way to get to my boo. I was invited out to dinner and the club by a friend but I can't afford to do shit. With these gas prices I'm probably gonna have to give up some booty, dick and neck just to get half a tank of gas. 


I kinda wish that I could blog for a living. It's mostly stress-free and kinda fun when I have shit to talk about. I can be pretty open and just share my thoughts on various bullshit that doesn't have much relevance to people who don't know me. I rarely do this "in real life." I guess I kinda feel like I'm being judged and maybe that's something that I shouldn't care about. I usually just write whatever I feel and let it go but "in real life," I kinda over think everything. Oh well, maybe I'm actually getting sleepy now. I certainly hope I get some sleep because I'm going to be hell to tangle with if the wrong person gets caught up in my horns tomorrow. Will I care? Probably not. When people ask me why I'm so ornery I'll just say, "I'm a Taurus and I'm cute, what's your excuse?". I have a knack for making people dislike me and sometimes I actually enjoy it. What can I say? It's a gift and a curse. 


Oh and I added that picture of Aang at the top because that's how I feel when I can't sleep. Like a bitch been whoopin my ass. Plus, he's cute. 
  

Burning and leaking

So I think that I forgot to add this lil update due to all the Valentine's Day stuff and other commotion in my life... Well, this is part of the commotion. So the weekend before Valentine's Day, I was intimate with the booski and stuff was all good and whatnot... I began to feel a lil tingling in my dingaling around Monday. I really didn't think much of it but then it began to burn. I know what you're thinking! It never once crossed my mind. Ok, maybe it crossed my mind a few times, but seriously, I thought it was the UTI coming back or the lube we used. We used condoms so I really didn't think there was a chance that I'd caught something (although they aren't 100%). I end up back at the doctor, but thank God I was the only person there when I arrived so I got to the back rather quickly. Turns out I had an allergic reaction to the lube. So to all the bitches that was hoping my forest had a fire, so sorry. Lindsey Lohan is the only fire crotch at my house. Actually, I don't own any of her movies so... No need to call the fire department. And no, I'm not saying that she has an std. Fire crotch = red head. Enjoy the weekend!

Confused like hell

I'm not sure what's going on lately, but one of my friends and I seem to be a bit at odds. He's under the impression that I've abandoned him now that I'm in a relationship, but I've been feeling neglected by him as well. I call and text...sometimes multiple times in a day...I get no reply. Or I get a response days later. Or when we do talk, the his phone disconnects and then he's "unreachable" for a period of time. We're really good friends and he's basically the only gay friend that I have at this point. I don't really hang out with anyone else. I'm not sure how to fix it or if it can be fixed. I can only tell my side of things. Neglectful friend, I am not. Even if I don't answer the phone I always reply to texts. And keep in mind that I'm not big on phone conversation but I call him all the time. I'm beyond frustrated and a bit puzzled... edit. he's the only gay friend I hang with. all others ate outta town

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Time to Double Up

Well as of 2/7/11 I'm one half of a new dynamic duo. A brave, new, daring, dynamic gay force sent to save the land from injustice, poor hygiene and bad dressers. I'm just kidding but I'm no longer single. Officially. I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be on the 7th or the 8th. Still conflicted. I may have a talk with him about it tomorrow...or today or whatever the fuck day it is. I suppose it doesn't matter but I'm weird about even and odd numbers. I really like even numbers except the number 6...and I don't like odd numbers except the number 7. The number 8 is my favorite of them all... Oh well, fuck it! As you can see I'm over thinking yet again. Oh and I'm sick of this snow shit in our area. Just sick of it.

Edit: I'm cool with the date now since the numbers add up to be even. I know, it's weird and OCD-esque but it's part of me. Deal with it bitches.

Need a job? x Your church? No thank you.

This post originally started out about Future Chris, but I'm not sure how much I'll blog about him going forward. If we make things official I'll update on that and other eventful happenings, but I'm going to make an effort to keep him out of the updates if we become a couple. I'm not sure if that will be possible, though. Anyway, I had to go to the minor medical center's urgent care facility around the corner from my apartment earlier this week. I'll spare you the details, but let's say that I was burning and leaking. Just kidding! I haven't even been having sex so umm...no. However, I was having to urinate frequently and it did burn. I thought I was gonna piss myself before the doctor saw me. Turns out I have a urinary tract infection so I was prescribed some meds. There are 2 ladies who work at the front desk. One lady is Caucasian and the other is African-American. One lady didn't appear to be doing much behind the counter other than talking to one of her friends or a family member on the phone. I take that back, she was working, but she wasn't assisting any patients. She didn't really say much at all to anyone waiting. The other lady was very sweet and attentive. She was constantly smiling and going out of her way to be extremely helpful. An older couple commented on how much it appears she loves her job. I concurred. My doctor asked me to call the clinic yesterday to insure that she had me on the right antibiotics. I called and got Ms. Unpleasant Attitude. She said her name is Diane. Yes, I take names. She was perplexed as to why I would call and seemed to be inconvenienced by it. She finally decided to put me on hold to check to see if my culture had come back. When she returned to the line, she nastily explained that it wasn't back and that a nurse should call me and she doesn't know why I called. In my mind I said, "I called because the doctor told me to you stupid bitch. Didn't I already explain that to your dumb ass?" My oral response was that I only called because the doctor indicated that I should both face to face and on my discharge papers. She was still annoyed and said the culture wasn't in yet. I hung up. I called back several hours later and got this bitch again. I was so hoping it would be the pleasant helpful lady, but no. I was to endure more of Diane's tongue lashings. I just said ok and hung up this time. If I have to go up to this clinic next week and go behind the counter and snatch Diane up, there will be an opening available for anyone who works in or is looking to work in the medical field. Oh yeah, take a wild guess which lady is Diane... 

One of my coworkers feels the need to keep inviting me to her church. I keep telling her that I have my own church and I'm fine. She's asked me 2 or 3 times. Yesterday was the most recent attempt. I said I have my own church and asked why. She said she knows but she just wants me to come with her. If you know me, you know that I haven't been to MY church in a while. I definitely don't want to go to hers. If it's some place that they're going to be shouting, jumping, hollering, or touching me, we will have a problem and she wouldn't invite me back again. Especially, if someone touches me... I'm trying to find a tactful, yet more forceful way to decline her invitations. Please help me out if you have any suggestions. I don't want to call her a stupid bitch, but if I don't have a better solution by the next invite, that will be my response. 

Motherfocker!

So things have been ok with Future Chris. We've spent a lot of time talking/texting and hanging. Not sure how far things will go, although I'm hoping for more than just friends. For some reason I can't get in touch with New Chris. I have some mail for him. I may just take it to his apartment. There really isn't much else going on with me besides my usual neurosis and insomnia. I got my w2... Is that newsworthy? I'm doubting it. Oh................I went to The Happy Mexican and the movies with my coworkers last night. I was so fucked up! I know I fell asleep at some point during Little Fockers. It was good... I was just sloshed like a motherfocker. Yes I spelled it that way purposely. Was supposed to go to this http://www.tsunamimemphis.com/ tonight but I didn't see anything that I'd ever eat on this menu and it's a little bit pricey for me. Maybe we'll pick something else. Well that particular friend just informed me that she can't go out tonight so idk. May have an outing with a different friend(s) tonight. Everything's up in the air at this point. I finished the Charmed DVDs so I guess I'll go back to Avatar. I was thinking about TrueBlood but not in the mood right now and The Boondocks episodes are hit and miss. Avatar will make me laugh and that's what I need. A good laugh and cuddling would be nice. But maybe I'm being greedy. I've been holding that boy hostage 3 weekends in a row. Don't hate me because I like to indulge in decadence. I'm a Taurus. It's my nature. Oh and even after that whole new Zodiac sign and shit I'm STILL a Taurus. I see why y'all mad and gone stay mad. LOL.