Nightmare turned provocative question

Last night I had a dream that I was fucking my bijou at mom's and she walked in on us. She didn't say much about it but this was a dream. Besides, when she later asked who's going to Florida he decided to be first to say yes and she said not as my son's boyfriend. Again, this was a dream and I'm sure my late night dinner, martini and time on the fun wheel aka doing the bed bop all had some influence. Mom wouldn't be pleased at all. This whole dream sequence led me to my questions... How would you react if you caught your child having sex (teen to adult) and would your reaction be different if it were someone of the same sex?

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Bullshit, besties and boyfriend

Recently, I've been having issues with work. I really hate that job more often than not. I'm revising my resume currently so that I can get the fuck up outta there. I need more money and less stress, but don't we all? There's this one stupid bitch fucking with me about what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. This bastard isn't my supervisor, he's not my manger, he's not even a team lead or help desk supervisor yet always has a inquiry about my comings and goings. Again, he's not my superior, my keeper, my father, house mother, nor baby sitter... He is, however, a fat, old, bitter,snake in the grass messy gay bitch. I was pissed Friday, all weekend and this morning. By lunch, I was over it. Every time he looked at me, I looked right through him as if I were just saying a big fuck you. I'm just glad I didn't go off on him for harassing me. I need my job even though I hate it...

I'm concerned about Kendal. I haven't heard anything from him in a few weeks now and I'm not really sure what to think. I really wish that he'd call, email, text or something. Lord knows I don't wanna put another friend in the category with that chick I used to be cool with. If you don't know who I'm talking about, go back and read... I can't remember what alias I used to protect the guilty back then and I'm too lazy to look it up. I remember Rita and Jasper so I figure that's enough. I haven't spoken to Jasper in a while either. Lord knows that I can't afford to lose any friends. Half of em don't answer the phone and the other half doesn't reply to texts. SMH. I take that back... Rita responds to everything! If I start buying gifts for friends, that bitch getting everyone else's gifts. Hey, she's consistent and considerate! I'm so happy for her in her new relationship too. She's so deserving after all she's been through. Now I gotta find someone for Jasper...

Back to the past weekend's shenanigans... My cousin came up from Louisiana. The whole thing was foolish to me because he didn't give me proper notice. Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about that type of shit. We ended up having a pretty decent time albeit short. He wasted my Friday night and Saturday morning. Y'all know I could've been cuddling with my booski during all that time. We made up for it though. I definitely am not celibate this go round and I'm pretty happy about that. That's all that I will really say about my sex life. The relationship is pretty good. Just wish that he didn't live so far away. With gas prices the way they are I'm gonna need 3 jobs to afford this relationship or move him in. Neither of us is ready for that type of move right now. Hell, we have a hard time deciding on where to eat. He's making me be more decisive though, which I find to be both scary and exciting...

#2 Pencils?

So Janie and I were on the phone a few minutes ago and we had a conversation about #2 pencils because she's taking some type of test today. I don't remember if she said what test or why but anyway, she had to have pencils and she wasn't sure if she needed #2 or not. Turns out she doesn't, but it sparked one of our conversations as to why #2 pencils are always required and why we never see any other type. Of course I'm a pretty logical person so I just assumed that maybe people in specialized trades probably use the other #s. I did a quick Google search and found the nugget of awesomeness below about #2 pencils. Yes, I'm weird.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2107/how-come-you-see-2-pencils-but-no-1-pencils

Pimpin in hard times

Since the gas prices are a million dollars now I've devised a plan to whore out one of my best friends. Hey, I need money so it's whatever. I've told her about it and plan to give her a cut of the money. At first I was going to do it myself but I figure that we can make more money if I use her. I have a list of good reasons as to why she'd be a better hooker than I would.

1. She's female.

2. She's soft.

3. More holes. Sometimes guys want options. I only have two. She has three. We can charge more.

4. She's light skinned and I figure that we can use her more markets. We can make her look racially ambiguous. I can probably only pass for a couple of things: black and African-American.

5. She has more experience and she's a freak.

6. See our picture below. See? If you were a loser who couldn't get no pussy you'd probably pay for that. Just kidding. This is all in fun! (Unless she's gonna do it). Happy Saturday everyone.

Edit: Kendal will be the next friend I whore out even though he's male... 

Desperado

I swear I feel like I've written this exact blog before. I didn't find it in the search so if I'm repeating myself please forgive me. My insomnia doesn't help my memory. I still don't feel like I should be in reruns already.
The job is stressing me the fuck out. I think I'm losing my hair. I bet someone laughed about that considering that I'm bald. But no seriously, the job is just really getting to me. I'm losing my appetite and I hate life right now. Now maybe I shouldn't feel that way because I have a job, but I do. I feel like vomiting or crying or both every day now. I gotta find something else. I'm working on this resume. I need something new asap.

So...there's this butch lesbian chick at my job that I used to be cool with. She was talking slick to me though, so you know she didn't last long. She couldn't deal with response to her dumb ass comments. I don't even remember what the bitch said, but she got her feelings hurt because she was intentionally antagonizing me. Needless to say, we're no longer cool at this point. One day while sitting in the break room I hear this clicking of heels and I just know a bad bitch is about to walk around the corner with some red bottoms on. Lo and behold it's this bitch. The girl at the table with me turns around and says, "Who is this with these desperado ass boots on?" I couldn't help but laugh about it. Now every time I see her in these boots I think "Desperado" and laugh to myself. Then I go back to my desk and dougie. Oh I don't care if you're judging me. I'm sure you've done something terrible like run over your neighbor's cat and didn't tell them or fuck your best friend's mom. Fuck you for judging me! Just kidding. Unless you really are judging me. Whores.

Edit: I'm sick of this motherfucker on Facebook sending me Cityville or Farmville requests all day. Bitch kill yoself

Insomnia part 6 million

Time: 1:06 am. This post is probably going to be very scattered and shit so forgive me or fuck yourself with a pine cone. Sorry, I never claimed that loving me is easy and having a pine cone up your pleasure canal definitely would be a challenge. I can't sleep and it's frustrating as hell. I even took a vicodin to help relax my mind. Nothing seems to work. Been praying. I don't know. Maybe weed is the next step? LOL. I don't think I could do that. I don't know where to find it nor do I know how to do all the other stuff you have to do to make it "smokeable" if that's a word. Anyway, yesterday was a pretty good work day. I retained 8 customers and my personal goal is 5 a day. That kinda makes up for only having 1 on Monday. I'm just praying that I can keep up the momentum through the rest of the week. It gets rough when we have such a high call volume. I get stressed, frustrated and start to feel like I can't do it. The boo tells me not to stress and that it's just a job. He's right but I don't know how to just relax and let things go. They linger in my mind and drive me crazy. I think it's because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I truly have a desire to be the best at my job that I can be. Crazy idea, huh? Let me revisit the weed idea after I get a new high paying job. Maybe I'll just win the lotto. If someone else out there wins, please gift me some money. I'm not even asking for a milli. I just wanna pay off my current outstanding debt and I promise I'll be happy. If you're writing letters to Oprah, drop my government to her. Thanks in advance, kind souls.


How about these fucking gas prices?? I'm really not feeling this shit at all. Can someone just go knock Muammar el-Qaddafi the hell out and stop this shit? I'm tired of getting raped at the gas pump. Between that and our job market, America is fucked right now. Oh and what's with the spelling of dude's name?? Why is it all over the net 3 million different ways? I just picked one and ran with it. If you don't like the spelling I chose, eat a brick. My parents were contemplating coming this weekend, but won't due to the gas prices. I actually kinda wanted to see them this time. I miss my mommy... :-( I kinda wanna have a talk with her about something that will probably lead to an argument. *big fucking sigh* Maybe I should just send her a copy of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga and say, "Let's discuss" after she listens. She probably wouldn't get it though and think it's weird...


How does everyone feel about this whole Nene-Kim-Sweetie controversy? I meant to blog about it a while ago when it happened but since I'm up and thinking about it now, now's the best time. Ok if you don't know what I'm talking about, Google is your friend. Hell, go to Bravo's website and I'm sure you can find it. Anyway, someone posted a picture of Sweetie on Facebook with a caption that said, "Free Sweetie" which I found to be ridiculous. My thinking is that she's not a slave, although Nene seems to think that Kim treats her like one. My feeling is that she's a grown woman and if she likes the way Kim talks to her, why the hell should we care? My friend from Facebook compared Sweetie to an indentured servant. I disagree. I also wonder if the reason there's an issue with it is because Kim's white and Sweetie's black. I didn't see anyone calling any of Diddy's various failed groups or assistants (Fonzworth Bentley and contestants) slaves after the way he's treated them on Making the Band or on I Want to Work for Diddy. After making a bitch cross that bridge for some cheesecake... The need or want for money sometimes makes us do things or put up with things that we wouldn't normally.  Again, grown people who chose their own paths is my thinking. *Kanye shrug* I want your thoughts. No, seriously, fucking reply you douches. Maybe the best way to get a response is to not call people douches, huh? My bad... Is bitch better? 


I've been listening to Marsha Ambrosious' CD and I think it's pretty awesome. I was just talking to a friend about it yesterday (sorry I forgot to call back). It's a pretty good listen from start to finish. Normally, I wouldn't be able to take Marsha's voice for too long because there's just something about her style of singing that irritates me at times. I actually can listen to the whole CD from start to finish without skipping any tracks. It's a nice baby making cd. I wanna practice to it this weekend if I can find a way to get to my boo. I was invited out to dinner and the club by a friend but I can't afford to do shit. With these gas prices I'm probably gonna have to give up some booty, dick and neck just to get half a tank of gas. 


I kinda wish that I could blog for a living. It's mostly stress-free and kinda fun when I have shit to talk about. I can be pretty open and just share my thoughts on various bullshit that doesn't have much relevance to people who don't know me. I rarely do this "in real life." I guess I kinda feel like I'm being judged and maybe that's something that I shouldn't care about. I usually just write whatever I feel and let it go but "in real life," I kinda over think everything. Oh well, maybe I'm actually getting sleepy now. I certainly hope I get some sleep because I'm going to be hell to tangle with if the wrong person gets caught up in my horns tomorrow. Will I care? Probably not. When people ask me why I'm so ornery I'll just say, "I'm a Taurus and I'm cute, what's your excuse?". I have a knack for making people dislike me and sometimes I actually enjoy it. What can I say? It's a gift and a curse. 


Oh and I added that picture of Aang at the top because that's how I feel when I can't sleep. Like a bitch been whoopin my ass. Plus, he's cute.