The Unreal Gays of the MidSouth

I had another date with CJ from the previous post last night. He was late. Anyone who knows me, knows that I detest tardiness but I didn't give him too hard of a time since he showed up with wine. We were going to see Hercules but due to the late hour and the wine thought it best not to. He suggested going downtown to walk on the river, which sounded great. I figured the date was salvageable at this point. Boy was I wrong! He was pulled over for going 7 miles over when we got downtown. He said he thought the speed limit was 45. The cop said it was but they just changed it after construction started. We decided to shake that off and proceed to the river. As soon as we park CJ says, "Uh oh here comes my ex," and a tall, angry light skinned man appears at the driver's side window. He addresses me for some reason and then calls CJ a liar and a loser and says he's been having mail sent to his house. Well they did live together... The man is mad because a check for $18 was sent to his house?? Really? He rants and raves for about 10 minutes and leaves. We still decided to walk for a bit to shake the awkwardness. Dude drives back through but didn't stop or say anything. We decide to leave. I noticed that he's driving a camaro like the one CJ said he had before. The ex had called him saying that he had to let both his infinity and CJ's camaro go back and that he needed him to send 7k cause he had no car. Funny... CJ's the liar but you're driving a camaro that went back to the dealer. Last night fucking sucked worse than reality tv! Who's up all night to get lucky? Not me!

Chris-crossed and well-shaken

I met yet another guy named Chris a couple of weeks ago. He seems like a really nice guy and he's very much into me. He's employed and mobile which is an unusual combination for me as of late. I'm still not fully over the last Chris so I'm really not sure how to proceed or if I even should. I have a tendency to push people away and he recognized that almost immediately. He's extremely attentive and compassionate. Sounds like I should be head over heels, right? I'm running scared. I don't want to be hurt or hurt him so I'm not sure what to do. I'm kinda in a holding pattern. I think I pushed too hard last night though. Didn't even get a good morning text today. I guess that's my fault. 

In other news, the turn up was way too real for me Friday night. I was out partying drunk as fuck with a good friend and we had just had enough of this club we were at. We decided to go home and get some McDeath on the way. He must have been really fucked up because we were speeding and got to the end of a street that had arrows to go left or right. We went straight. Straight through bushes and a street sign. We weren't hurt and laughed it off. As we drove away, we noticed a weird sound and my friend wondered if he had messed up his truck. About this same time, we see blue flashing lights in the rear view and I'm freaking out inside. The officer conducts a field sobriety test on my friend while I sit nervously on the passenger side. He ends up putting him in the car and asking me if I have anyone to come get me because he's not letting me drive the truck home even if it were able to be driven. He shows me that the two front tires are both FLAT and something is hanging underneath. Long story short, my friend was arrested and I was picked up by a coworker at like 3:30 am. I went to a pool party last night and everyone asked me why I wasn't drinking. The hangover and memory of the previous nights events have given me cause to pause. 

Worst Behavior (Thot Remix)

At the urging of friends, I've decided to pick the blog back up at least on a trial basis. Yesterday I got an unexpected and pleasant text from a friend asking to come over to his place for a cookout. We haven't seen each other in months and I was glad to get the invite. When I get to his place I'm greeted by him and his dog, Kash. He and his boyfriend have also adopted a kitten who went through several name changes yesterday. I'm sure she's traumatized and confused as she was being called Klover when I arrived. By the time I left she had been called Kream, Klhoe and a myriad of other names that begin with the letter K. I'm not sure what they decided on but I think that I'll just call her Kitty to be safe. She's a feisty one and even though she's very young, her claws work just fine. New pussy in the house always causes excitement. Even for the gays. So my friend's boyfriend also invited a few of his female friends over.Even though I hate meeting new people, I figured that it wouldn't be too bad. The girl who was supposed to be making margaritas flaked on us. The other one showed up with her three children unfortunately. One is an infant. Initially, I thought that everything was going to go well, but when she and my buddy's boyfriend left the kids there with us while they went to score some weed my feelings changed. The two smokers talked so bad about their dope dealing friend's gold tooth being misshapen and outdated. I believe one of them said that it looks like "1997." But what type of thot ass bitch would leave her kids with strangers to go buy weed anyway?? Really bitch? She left the little girl holding the baby. She was talking to her and feeding her and the whole time I was thinking, "This little girl is going to end up being someone's baby mama because of this." It just felt wrong. I don't know which part of the night threw me off the most. Her interaction with her children was totally horrific. She punched the little girl in the arm or chest - I can't remember which, but she made sure that it was understood that the baby wasn't to be awakened. She assured us that the girl was fine. In fact, she didn't start to cry until my friend and I discussed the assault and how off balance the child was afterwards. It happened so swiftly that none of us anticipated it. The girl looked like a baby bird that fell out of its nest while learning to fly. You know that kinda woozy, "I don't know why I'm on this thing," look people have when they get on a surfboard for the first time? That was how she looked. Dead ass. I had to turn my head not to laugh. I'm sorry but I do have a tendency to laugh at inappropriate times. I believe mom went to the room to smoke after that. We tried to appease her son by watching cartoons on Netflix but his only reply to every option was the word no. When his mother finally decided to come from chiefing in the other room to see why he sounded like a broken record, she told him not to pick anything girly this time. I left around 10:30 pm or so and she was still there. I don't recall my parents ever having my brother and me out late like that at someone's home. I don't know what time she left or if she even did. Maybe it's just how these new mothers parent. I'm not a parent so who am I to judge? It was the most ghetto night I've had in ages and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I think that I have a love/hate relationship with ratchetness now. Motto for 2014 - On My Thot Shit.

I decided to include a link to Drake's "Worst Behavior" since it was referenced in the title.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CccnAvfLPvE

Last night...12.31.11 version

Long time no update, I know. I'm a bad blogger. A lot has changed lately. Some of you may know, some may not. I now find myself in a relationship with a great guy. Well, I don't know when/how it became official but I'm no longer on any of the dating sites/apps. If he had his way, we would have made it official on the first date LOL.  Anyway, we've been seeing each other since the last week of November and spending a lot of time together. Last night he said he wanted me to spend the night. He cooked dinner while I watched Harry Potter something or other....whatever the last movie is. Clearly I haven't seen all of them yet. I had dinner, wine and then a splash in his Jacuzzi coupled with more wine... And then there was sex. Good sex. And he has a curved peen! Yes, if you know me, you know I avoid those like people avoid bill collectors. I honestly haven't been in relationship like this in a long time. He likes to spoil me...and he's my age. All of this came as a huge surprise to me. Hopefully it will continue to go well. Wish me well!

Scattered post

This post is gonna kinda be all over the place. Sorry guys. I'm not in the editing mood so I basically typed as things came to my head. I just made sure that spelling was correct and I slightly tried with grammar. Last night I hung out with someone that I had a prior connection with. When I knew him before he was young and immature...oh and a little bit sexy. Okay, maybe a lot sexy. I text him Sunday night just to ask how he was and he said we should hang out. We haven't seen each other face to face in years. I was a bit nervous about meeting him again because I wasn't sure what his intentions are. I'm still not totally sure. We've had sex in the past so I have mixed emotions about it all. Sometimes I wanna jump him, sometimes I want more. Well, I usually want more anyway... He came over and we watched tv. It actually watched us while we talked and caught up. The last time that he and I really spoke I was in a rocky relationship and he was engaged. To a woman. Yes, I know... *face palm* Now I'm single and so is he. He said she's a great woman but she just wasn't what he was looking for. Clearly he's bisexual but he leans more towards XY than XX. I just told him the situation with my ex just didn't work out. I'm not gonna bash him but I believe I'm Chris Crossed at this time (Charmed reference!). He gave me such a great hug when he came in the door... We really had a great time just talking and watching The Hangover. Of course any conversation with me turns sexual at some point even when I'm the one being good! I mentioned something about asking him to sing after he noticed my tattoo... He said I may hear him sing in the shower some day. Really sir? It's funny how people remember events. He remembers our first time meeting as being at a club and then going to his aunt's house where we had sex. I had to remind him that we met online first and then at my apartment. He was looking all shy and innocent.. That was all a ruse. He isn't shy or innocent at all. That was the first time we met and we didn't have sex! SMH. We probably hung out like 5 or more times before we had sex so I'm not sure why he thinks it was that soon. A mind really is a terrible thing to have. He asked if I gave him a hug when he came in knowing good and damned well that I did. I gave him another one because it benefited us both and I wanted to sniff him some more. He smelled like soap and Roberto Cavalli cologne. He said something like I'll see you later right before he left. I'm always skeptical when people say they wanna stick around, as you know. I don't have faith in people any more but I must say it was so nice to hang with him. He said I make him nervous. He's all shy and stuff around me, which really isn't his personality. I asked when did you get all shy and he said I don't know. When did you get all not shy? I guess we both have changed a lot since we last spent time together. We talked, we laughed, we flirted, we held hands, we hugged, we kissed... Well, he gave me a peck on the lips after I hugged him good night. That was it. No hands roaming. Well... Okay, I squeezed his butt a few times. Hey, I'm an ass man! He text me and let me know he'd made it home and I replied with damn you got sexier! He said he was thinking the same thing about me. :-)

Last night...

Long time no blog, I know. Sue me. Y'all don't pay me so I blog on my time. Yes, rude I know...but it's a gift and a curse.

Some of you know that I had an incident with my mailbox keys at my apartment complex. Brief synopsis: The bitches changed my mailbox locks and keys by mistake. It took me two weeks to get that resolved. Well there's a guy named Erand that works in the leasing office after hours who helped me get my keys. I was stopping by that office every day after work for 2 weeks! The night that I got the keys, he pretended that they still didn't have the keys. I said you have to be kidding me! I'm going to have to do this again on Monday?? I was freaking out and annoyed. He started laughing and said I'm just playing, I have your keys. I wanted to smack the shit out of him and hug him at the same time. I guess you could say that we'd had some flirty moments, but initially I wasn't sure if he is part of the Reading Rainbow or not. I found him attractive either way. He's about 6'2", dark skinned, basketball player build... I think the first time I met him I said to myself he was cute but he had on this aftershave that made me want to vomit. So anyway, after getting my keys we talked for about 20 minutes and he took my number and said he'd text me. We've been texting back and forth for about 2 weeks or maybe a little more but it's usually just small talk. He says stuff like "Sup bruh" so I wasn't sure how to read him. Last night, I was out with my bestie "Rita" and he began texting me that he was trying to find some liquor or a way to get some. I figured he was having car problems and offered to take him since he'd been helpful to me. He ended up telling me that his mom bought him a 6 pack of Smirnoff and some Patron. So the drunk texts begin. "What you doin bruh?"... "I'm hot"... I say turn on the fan or a/c. He then explains that he was horny and says, "Well talk to your friend. I'm gone find somebody to suck on this dick." Being the generous person that I am, I offer my assistance. Taking a cue from another friend, I decided to try something different. *shrugs* Erand's dick is huge. No lie. It wasn't hard and it looked like it was all folded up or something. Well, I did the dirty deed...he did me too...I'm not going to get too graphic, but I was pleased. Twice. I honestly thought he was gonna be an asshole and I wouldn't see him again or want to. Now I'm not so sure. Pros: He's in my apt complex, single, good looking, says he wants a relationship, got his own place and car... Cons: He's 22, has a bad attitude (that he's working on), possibly DL. He's texting me now. I'll keep you abreast of any major developments. It makes me think of the song below (download link included):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pmz2KVMuABo

http://hulkshare.com/q58wkb2y651z

Latest Obsession...

So I'm now hooked on Supernatural although I'm like a million years late on this show. It scares the shit out of me. I'm thinking of trying to get all of the seasons on DVD now. I'm watching it now and ready to piss myself. OMG this show is freaking me out right now!!!!!! Please feel free to purchase a season or two for me. I won't be offended. I'm also depressed for some reason. I'm not sure why. I think it may be related to work and bills. I mean, I pretty much always have something to do on the weekends so I'm not bored. Thoughts? Random: I'm mad about having a postcard on my windshield for a Gucci Mane appearance at Level II when I got off of work. So overit.com.